Haters Hating: Body Positivity

Updated: Feb 14, 2019

You hear a lot on the internet about body positivity. Body positivity is exactly what it sounds like; being in love with the body you were given, embracing it, and encouraging others to do the same. But what if there are things about yourself you’d like to change? Hair, eye color, style, weight, etc. Is it considered a negative trait to wanna change those things?

Absolutely not.

If you’re not happy with the way you look, or you’re really just tired of having brown hair, change it bro. “Aww but I love your hair, don’t change it!” or, “you are beautiful just the way you are, blue hair would look ugly on you,” are comments that may be well-intentioned from your friends and family, but they’re ridiculously unhelpful.

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable in my skin is something I am very familiar with. I used to weigh closer to 160lbs, and while that might be normal for some, for me it just didn't seem right. I felt gross, and all these people telling me I wasn't fat was going in one ear and out the other; I didn't feel like I was in the right body.

I didn't really love my style either there for a while. I wore things just because I kinda liked them or I thought they were trendy or I thought they weren't too expensive. I hadn't worn something just because I loved it in years. Being in my twenties, my style was changing, and I no longer enjoyed the kinds of clothes I used to as a teenager.

One day, I was just like, “hey, all of these things I hate about myself are things I can change,” so I did. Granted, it took a lot of time, and I’m still experimenting with things, but I’m coming to find my own beautiful, and I’m living in the body that’s perfect and natural for me. Going for walks and changing up my diet was the biggest thing; I still eat junk food from time to time, but I cut soda, and I’m mostly eating healthy proteins and veggies. All of that took me down to an average of 113lbs, and for me, it took away that tense feeling of “I feel so weird,” and replaced it with a relaxed and charismatic version of myself. My friend has been doing my hair too, and she’s amazing (shameless plug time! Check out Tiffany Elaine on Facebook.) She’s helping me grow my hair out after my strange phase of thinking I was hardcore (I’m not. I like reading, writing, coffee, and doing old lady activities. Mental activities are far easier for me than physical ones.) and chopping my hair into a pixie cut. She colors my hair as well. I tried a few different fun colors until I decided on going blonde for a while, and so far I’ve been feeling fabulous!

I think if you’re going for a new hair color, you should pick a color that matches your personality and vibe. Even if it’s neon green. Sticking with the color you were born with just because your Mormon parents might freak out is no reason to keep it. As you change, so should your hair.

This brings me to style. I love the Gothic look, I always have, but again, I felt pressured to stay away from it because “skulls are weird,” “black is for dead people,” “don’t look like a freak,” Boy bye.

Going blonde gave me the courage I needed to start wearing mostly black or all black outfits while incorporating other aspects of the Gothic style. I love it. I’m finding new ways to express this style, like combing other elements such as hipster and grunge into the mix. Clothes shopping doesn't have to cost you an arm and a leg either! You can pick up pieces from just about any store and make them into one

’ outfit. Thrift stores can be a great option for you too, especially when you’re in that trial and error phase trying to figure out what makes you feel beautiful and what makes you feel out of touch with yourself.

Here’s the big thing though, people are gonna start noticing these changes in you, especially if you’ve seemingly magically transformed overnight. If you’re losing weight in a healthy way, people are still gonna say that you’ve lost too much and that you need to do X, Y, and Z, to maintain an appearance they see fit. Don’t fall for that bull crap. If you’re being healthy, and you’re happy with your weight, tell them to suck a butt honey because you are swagalicious. If all the sudden you dressed in jeans and a T-shirt every day and now you’re wearing dresses to the park, people might think you’re having a crisis or that you’re trying to be someone you’re not or that you’ve started taking drugs. Offer to pee in a cup for them, see what they say then.

Seriously though, if you’re happy in the body you’re in now, great! If not? Change it up. There’s literally no shame in saying “hey, this really isn't me, I’m gonna work towards finding out who I am.” Real friends will understand, and fake friends can keep on stalking your Facebook page while scowling because they’re secretly jealous of your bravery.

Stay body positive! Let those haters know that you’ve worked hard both mentally and physically to become the you that you always wanted to be. Let them know that you’re proud to be you!

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